some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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