so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
