Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
