Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
