If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
