the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
