Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Drunk is not a location!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
