I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
