so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
