drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
