The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
