I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
