i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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