The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
