Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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