im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize