i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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