Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
