your thong is hanging out like whoa
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
