sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
