hotel room ftw
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
