Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
