I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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