just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
