i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
