You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
