It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
