you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Is it penis luge time yet?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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