Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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