in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
