Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
