She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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