Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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