but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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