Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
