I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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