So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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