I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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