you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
