here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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