There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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