I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
