I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Randomize
