All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
third nipple confirmed
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize