I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize