she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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