Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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