Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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