He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
