Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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