yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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