its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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