Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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