you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
