Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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