Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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