I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
