How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Randomize
