hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
