did you get engaged???
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
