you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
