So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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