my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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